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I.am.not.making.this.upđź’Ą: Deck the halls with irony

Tim Cohen 6 min read
I.am.not.making.this.upđź’Ą: Deck the halls with irony
AI image by Dall-e; Prompt by T Cohen

Christmas is when we are enjoined to think of the things that money can’t buy, even though it's the time of year we shop like crazy. If you think about it, this is just the start of the contradictions between the “Peace and Goodwill” season and consumerism that marks this time of year. Christmas is rife with the sacred, the secular, and the slightly absurd.

Take, for example, the sparse simplicity of the nativity compared to the almost grotesque feasts and decorations that mark modern celebrations. Jesus was born in a rude manger partly because the hotels were full (many of us can relate to that!). This sacred message of the gospel was to illustrate how humanity was drifting away from grace, was broken, and in desperate need of a saviour.

And how do we mark this today? With lavish gifts and that lavish feasting, of course. Part of the historical explanation is that Christmas is a Christian adaptation of secular traditions marking the solstice.  Many Christmas traditions, like decorating trees, exchanging gifts, and, yes, feasting, have roots in pagan winter solstice celebrations that predate Christianity. The church, canny as always, adopted these pagan customs to ease the conversion of non-Christian populations.

Yet, on top of the Christmas tree is normally a star, symbolising the guiding light that led the Magi to Jesus’ birthplace, Bethlehem, where they brought their gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh. Or at least that’s what Matthew said. You can almost hear Mary saying, “Oh very nice. You didn’t maybe think of bringing something useful, like nappies and a crib?"

The star can also be read as a light shining in a dark world, offering direction and purpose to humanity. For all its emphasis on love and goodwill after all, the underlying message of the gospels is gloomy. We are lost. We need help. We are faithless. etc. 

By contrast, the December pagan celebrations are essentially happy. The solstice marks the turning point in the weather for the Northern Hemisphere where the days start to get longer and warmer, holding the promise of a new season. And this is probably why we in the Southern Hemisphere never had a similar secular tradition and perhaps why it seems so fundamentally fake to us. Who in their right mind celebrates the days getting shorter? 

The worthwhile thing the Southern Hemisphere has inherited from the Northern traditions of Christmas is the notion of giving. I’m so proud of my colleagues at Daily Maverick for their Christmas Buckets of Nutrition campaign held in conjunction with SA Harvest.  Total donations from Daily Maverick readers have now passed over a million rand, and the campaign has gone national. (It started as a Gqeberha hospital campaign and just went bonkers!); it's genuinely heartwarming and not too late if you would like to contribute.

Buckets of nutrition delivered to parents in Gqeberha hospitals
Parents whose children are in hospital or receiving treatment for cancer and moms whose babies were born prematurely and are still looking after them in hospital all received buckets filled with nutritional food, 5 kgs of maize and some new clothes as Daily Maverick and SA Harvest kicked off their countrywide donations campaign in Nelson Mandela Bay. Total donations from Daily Maverick readers surpassed R715,000 on Tuesday. Photographer Donna van der Watt joined the team at the drop-off hospitals to record the occasion.

There is a child-like wonder about Christmas, emphasising the notion of enchantment and magic. Yet, it's another of the ironies of Christmas that enchantment and falsity are so bound together. At some point, every child learns that Santa Claus is a fiction, the reindeer don’t fly, and the presents were the gifts not of elves but of some tired and overworked parents. The same irony is at work with the Christmas tradition of togetherness, often unintentionally highlighting its absence. For some, Christmas is bittersweet.

Anyway, whatever your Christmas brings you and your families, please relish it. In my last Daily Maverick column for the year, I asked the obvious question: what will 2025 bring? And while I don’t know - none of us can - it's worth remembering that for all the turmoil around us, over a full lifetime of the average person, there are many more good years than bad. Let’s take solace in that. 


From the department of the cost of Christmas


From the department of about those partridges


From the department of, what were the names of those reindeer again?

Blixem. Seriously, Blixem?

An anonymous poem published in a New York newspaper 201 years ago, named the St. Nic's reindeer as Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Dunder and Blixem.

The Troy Sentinel 23 December 1823 — The NYS Historic Newspapers
The NYS Historic Newspapers

But aren’t the last two supposed to be Donner and Blitzen? A writer by the name of Justin Fox has presented the denouement of the greatest of all Christmas mysteries. He counted the number of times Dunders, Donders, Blixums, Blixems and Blitzen appeared in New York newspapers between 1500 and 1840. And found the winners werer Dunder and Blixum.

As South Africans, I think we will just go with "O Donder!" and "Bliksem!" if you don't mind. 


From the department of bear karma is a bitch

Virginia father dies after bear shot in tree falls on him
The animal fell onto Lester Harvey, who was standing about 10 feet from the bottom of the tree, officials said.

ICYMI: Steeling ourselves for change

After the Bell: Steeling ourselves for change in SA’s industry
The developmental notion behind steel production is simply that steel is a foundational building block at the base of the industrial system. Get that right, and the rest will follow. And yet it has led to perhaps the biggest policy misstep of the modern era in South Africa.
Stand Up! Business
Investment banker Mark Barnes and Business Maverick editor Tim Cohen unwrap the news. A new edition of StandUp!Business midweek, every week.

From the department of brotox




Many thanks for reading this far. Remember you can always comment on these posts, and if you are reading in newsletter form, please do send to a friend who may be interested, and ask them to sign-up for free (for now) in the block above. For all the cynicism above, please do have a great Christmas.


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đź’Ą Loose Canon đź’Ą

I'm a South African journalist - former FM, Business Day & Business Maverick editor. I currently contribute to Daily Maverick and Currencynews.co.za. Commentary and reflections on business, economics.

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